Dating is stupid. Seriously, a first date is a literal interview to score a second interview, then so on and so on until one of you says “Ok, wanna just keep hanging around each other til one of us dies? Yea? Cool, let’s spend thousands of dollars to announce this decision.”
Forgive me, I can be a little pessimistic.
But on a good note, I found an app this weekend that made my interview process go by a little faster.
Walk with me.
I had plans for this weekend. So many friggin plans. I was going to step up my yoga game and try some new poses and maybe even start a new challenge. I was gonna meditate the hell out of Saturday, I even bought a new meditation candle. It’s so cute it has a wood wick so it sounds like an actual outside fire crackling. I was going to get at LEAST two new posts up on the blog. And I was going to get this damned sociology paper done. I have done a total of 0% of these things and now I have the Sunday blues where I feel the impending doom of Monday breathing down my neck. Honestly, all I’ve really succeeded at this weekend is getting a HULU subscription and making a pretty good dent in the first season of The Mindy Project. Love that show.
I think my subconscious maybe deliberately trying to keep me inside though. I canceled two dates this weekend. TWO. Told them I had a “work emergency”. Fun fact; I do not work on the weekends. I work in a preschool ya’ll. Monday through Friday; 8-5.
On that note. I downloaded this dating app called Bumble and oh my God I am enjoying the crap out of it! First off, I have done the Tinder thing and all I can say to that is ew. But Bumble is supposed to be the dating thing with a feminist twist (I’m always down for feminism). For those who are unfamiliar with it, it is basically the aesthetics of Tinder when it comes to the swiping left for the “no thank you’s” and right for the “of hell yes’s” or at least the “mmm maybe’s”. The biggest difference is that it’s up to the woman to make the first move! No pressure, right?! It’s really not too bad and honestly fun as heck. Even just for the swiping. I get to judge people on first appearance without making them feel bad! LOVE IT! (I’m really not that big of a bitch ya’ll, chill).
Anyways, I will totally admit I got a little lazy when it came to the “first move”. I literally sent out the exact same message to every guy and just called it a day. Hey! How’s your weekend going? 🙂 That’s a good one right? (What? It’s not like they’re all sitting next to each other comparing messages…or are they? Hmmm…) It took all of two minutes before my phone started blowing up and I got to meet a bunch of new people without ever having to put down my wine. I mean this is an experiment for the sociology books if I’ve even seen one. (Still gotta write that damn paper).
First off, I am loving the lack of phallic photos. Apparently, on the guy’s end you get kicked off for being a perv! WHAAAAT?? Score one for girl power!
Also, guys are a lot more polite on here. Less profanity. No life threats for not wanting to have sex. Less headless pictures showing just abs with weights in the background. (We get it, you work out, calm down).
I do feel a little pressured about the whole 24-hour response requirement. Girls, you have exactly 1,440 minutes to come in with an opening line or your potential love is lost forever in a sea of faces (Not really, he just goes back in the swipe pile and you’ll come across him again at some point).
OH! I haven’t even told the BEST part! There are no confines keeping you to just looking at a potential date. They have a BFF setting, I kid you the f*@k not! There are future besties on this thing! Which is super awesome because being a 28-year-old woman, it’s hard af to make new friends. Isn’t that sad? Most of my girlfriends are married and/or have kids. I can’t invite anybody out without hearing the word “babysitter”. So, this might be my new thing now.
If you are single and not interested in being virtually poked in the eye with man-parts then I fully suggest this app and hell, even if you’re not single, go find a new gal pal to go do yoga with! Seriously, I’m trying to figure out why it took so long to get a “friend-dating” app!
The Bumble app is officially used and loved by The Brilliance in Growing up!